A Glorious Day

This weekend we hiked (some of us reluctantly, the 49ers were playing!) 1.7 miles to this dark sand crescent beach in the Marin Headlands. Frothy waves crashed against the cliffs creating mini waterfalls down the lowest portion of the rock face. Blue skies, warm sun and still air had us peeling off the three extra layers any savvy northern Californian wears to the beach. We've been here before, in all seasons, and never have we had more perfect weather.

Oscar was one of the reluctant ones but he came around when I reminded him that he could hunt for semi-precious stones among the dark pebbles.

After lunch Paul and I were reading but Ruby and Abe itched for adventure.  They wanted to climb up that crack in the grassy hillside. 

We let them go.  Five minutes or so passed and I realized I could not see them. I figured I should check on them but I wasn't worried. I slowly laced up my shoes and headed across the beach to the base of the hill. 

 

I gasped when I reached the crack.  I had no idea how narrow the space. How steep and crumbly the walls.  I started climbing, and my feet slid on the rocks that covered the trail, rocks that had been pulled out of the dirt walls by previous climbers. I climbed faster - slipping, stepping - up the deep and twisty ravine, calling up on decades-old rock climbing skills to grasp tiny rocks poking out of the walls to hoist myself along.

My heart pounded. My legs shook. I worried about Ruby slipping backwards into Abe and the two of them sliding on rockfalls all the way down. Partway up the climb, the walls grew shorter and I could spot them sitting on the old military bunker looking down over the cliff. I hoped Abe knew to keep Ruby from the edges of the sheer cliffs.

Of course they were fine. But definitely not the best idea to let them hike alone.

The views from the top were breathtaking.

 

We stayed a while just breathing it in.

When I returned to the beach Oscar was eager to show me that he'd found more green and white stones among the black pebbles.

He put them in his pocket for safe-keeping and laid down on the blanket with his book, Diary of a Wimpy Kid.  He read, I read, and Ruby buried her legs in sand. 

Paul and Abe hiked to the top of the peak above the bunkers and around to the next peak.  When I squinted I could just barely make out their slender figures along the ridge before they disappeared. Later, Ruby and Paul hiked up the crack again while Oscar and I read some more and Abe ran along the shore in and out of the waves.

 

The sun edged slowly toward the horizon and still we stayed.  Oscar, who usually begs to leave the beach after an hour, was happy on this rare windless day.  I rested my head against a rock and closed my eyes and let the warm sun wash over my face. 

We considered staying on through sunset and hiking back to the car in the dark.  (If only we'd brought our headlamps and an extra snack.)

 

On our way back we stopped to take this family portrait.  That's me on the left, then Ruby (with her hat and bucket), Paul, Oscar and finally Abe.  

Our glorious day was made even more glorious by an uneventful walk back. No complaining, no whining, no requests for food. Just five hikers, holding hands, chatting, and tossing the football back and forth along the way.

Hawaii

We returned from Hawaii exactly a week ago tonight, and yes, it's taken me this long to post! The trip was in honor of Paul's parents' 70th birthdays and so we were there with them, Paul's two sisters and our niece -- and had such a wonderful time.

We stayed in condos overlooking a cove just around the corner from Napili Bay and enjoyed this amazing view from our balcony.  I loved falling asleep listening to the waves knocking against the rocks, and, a whole week later, I still miss the sounds of the water and breezes at all times of the day.

We went to a luau with the men and kids wearing these matching shirts and dresses.  (Notice that I'm hidden in the back in my boring brown dress). We all felt a little silly but it was fun.  Abe enthusiastically responded to the call for volunteers to learn the hula dance up on the stage, Ruby took dozens of pictures of the dancers, and Oscar was wide-eyed and keeping the beat with the drummers all evening long. 

We realized (thanks to facebook) that old college friends were staying just up the road from us and so we enjoyed an hour reminiscing over a glass of wine at sunset on a gorgeous point separating Napili from Kapalua.

We have at least five pictures of Oscar wearing this hat -- is it Paul's or Grandpa's? I'm not sure, but I think it looks best on Oscar.

Oscar wasn't so excited about getting into the ocean (except for snorkeling) but he swam laps in the pool, and then cozied up in towels on the pavement afterward.

We tried surfing, and I thought I'd be really good, but I really really wasn't. Abe did well, and so did Paul's sister and my niece, and Paul too actually. Really, everyone but me seemed to get it.

We snorkeled nearly every day, exploring most of our favorite spots from years past.  We swam with the turtles in the cove, and drank wine on the "grassy knoll" overlooking the cove at sunset.  We boogie boarded (even backwards)...

gazed out at the cove and drew pictures...

...and built sand castles.  Oscar started and finished a castle all by himself one day with no help or suggestions from anyone.  (Sometimes I don't realize how much help, or rather how consistent his need for help is, until he does something completely independently.)

 

Can you see it? He's pretty proud.

And Paul, Abe, and I read most of the Suzanne Collins Gregor the Overlander series. I'd brought lots of books about writing, a memoir or two, and one novel, but I didn't read any of those. Instead I got completely sucked into this five volume series and only finished last night.  I loved diving into a wildly different world, and then discussing plot and character development with Abe.  He says, by the way, that the Hunger Games trilogy is better, so that's what I'll read next.

I found, though, that despite the glorious setting and fun adventures, that I couldn't escape my anxiety in Hawaii. The breathtaking views, warm trade winds, crashing waves and the sugary sand were all incredibly soothing to me during the day but I really struggled at night. I woke in the wee hours and could feel the panic start to fill my head. I practiced my breathing and focused on comforting images but the stomach pains and racing thoughts persisted.  (Our mediation with the school district is on Wednesday and I can only assume that thoughts of that meeting were invading my calm.) 

On our last afternoon, I sat on Napili beach and concentrated on the contented calm that filled me in that moment as I breathed in the swaying palms, shimmering water and billowy clouds.  I promised to start making some changes to help reduce my anxiety and feel more fulfilled no matter how busy and stressful our days are sometimes.  I need a daily practice.  I don't know yet what that looks like, but this photo brings me hope that I can figure that out. 

 

Aloha!

Christmas in Pictures

I was busy this month with the holidays and preparing for our trip east for Christmas...and now it's already New Year's Eve.

Here's a recap of our month...

 Oscar and Ruby visit with Santa. (Ruby's one wish - a candy cane. She'd never had one)

 Christmas tree tied to the top of our old wagon. (In our version of the punch-buggy game Ford Taurus wagons are worth 10 points.) Abe is dressed for baseball tryouts later that day.

 Reading Christmas stories in bed. (And yes, it's so cold in our house that some of us wear ski hats to bed)

Oscar with his "First Christmas" ornament

 Abe wears the Santa hat all over town and even to bed. Perfect for tree decorating.

 Ruby's year to put the star on top

School ice skating trip -- both Oscar and Ruby spent as much time on the ice as possible. Oscar didn't want me to take this picture, he told me later, because his friends were watching, and "it isn't cool for 10 year olds to take pictures with their moms".

Watering the Christmas tree with a tea pot.*

Ruby writing her letter to Santa.* 

 Candy cane at the top of the list.*

 Walking on a frozen pond in Pennsylvania

 On the way to Philadelphia with cousins.

Cousins lined up, watching for the train.

 Christmas Eve at my parent's house.

 Ruby gives Abe a present

Oscar opening a present containing some more of the animals he collects. (He must have hundreds of these now...a clear example of "enough is never enough" in PWS, but they make him SO happy, and hey, it's not food!)

 

Abe excited about a gift

 

Oscar and cousin A. relaxing with A's dog Penny  

 

A blizzard with over two feet of snow in NJ! Abe was thrilled and played in the snow for hours and  hours

Ruby and cousin A jump aboard the sled

Oscar throws a snowball at Paul -- he thought he was so sneaky

Oscar walking Penny the day after the blizzard. He giggled and jogged along.

(Maybe a dog isn't such a bad idea?)

Ruby built a snowman with Grandpa

And Abe dug a tunnel (with cousin A and Grandpa)

We had a great trip, relaxing for a few days with each of our families. Thankfully the snow didn't affect our travel and we are home again now enjoying the last few free days before school and work and all those other responsibilities start up again.  

Wishing you all a Happy Happy New Year!!

* photos by M. Roark

Grandpa took most of the snow photos and many others too!