Overwhelm

Whenever I'm quiet here it almost always means I'm overwhelmed. I'm lacking time for reflection and writing and instead I'm speeding through the days in a fog.  Last night, after I'd given Oscar his growth hormone injection and brushed my teeth, I started to put my contact lenses back in.  This morning, when I dashed home between appointments to drop off a half-baked pizza for dinner I took it straight to the bathroom utterly convinced it belonged atop the white wicker hamper.  With the pizza finally stored in the fridge I hopped back in the car and drove across town, right past my destination.  That was the third time this week I'd lost track of where I was going and had to do a u-turn.

Overwhelm is:

• A husband in Brazil and three kids in Berkeley
• Posting an ad for a new aide and receiving 80 responses, conducting phone screenings from the car, and squeezing interviews in around 19 other commitments.
• Watching my nearly 9 year old stutter so badly his whole face contorts as he wrestles with each word
• Not having a plan for the 9 year old's birthday in 4 days.
• Reading about PWS deaths and H1N1 and deciding, still begrudgingly, to get the vaccine
• Scheduling that vaccine and three other MD appointments in one week.
• Wondering why the 11 year old has been so quiet and lethargic for three days.
• Writing a two page letter to my 5 year old's pediatrician about her obsession with food because I can't possibly explain all of the nuances of the situation with her present at tomorrow's checkup.
• Wanting to edit my workshop piece for the class anthology but knowing I'm not going to have time.
• Wondering why my hair is falling out, I've gained 10 pounds, and I'm dizzy again.
• Other things I can't write in a blog for fear of upsetting certain individuals.
• Wanting to just forget it all and crawl into bed with a good book.

Heck. I think I will do that. 

Check back tomorrow for an update.  Will I use sunscreen to brush my teeth? Put the milk in the cupboard? Confuse the school start time and deliver the kid 15 minutes late?  Or will I add a new blooper to the list?  I bet you can't wait to find out!