Yesterday morning, a friend texted me a hilarious exchange that she and her husband had over pre-dawn coffee about my blog posts. Not about the posts themselves, but the fact that I am managing to write them every day. The exchange was so funny that I started cackling. When I tried to read it aloud to Paul, tears streamed down my face and I couldn't finish.
I really needed that laugh. And I really needed the acknowledgment that I am posting every day. The truth is, many nights I am so exhausted that I almost give up. I do try to start early but I often have trouble settling on a topic. I start two or three posts and abandon them or save them for later. It's hard.
Two nights ago I spent an hour looking through pictures thinking I’d take a break from writing and just post pictures for a few days, but then returned to the post I’d started earlier about “the plan”. As midnight approached and I still wasn’t done, I really wanted to give up. Just like I wanted to give up three nights earlier when I was writing about the pervasiveness of food in our culture. But then, and this sounds sappy, I realized I couldn’t. I had to keep writing. I had to post something. Oscar lives with PWS every single day. He doesn’t have the option to give up, to step away from the challenge. So this is one small way I can honor him.
That said, I am away at Lit Camp, a writer's conference in Calistoga, through Sunday where I'm meeting other writers as well as agents, editors, and publishers. I'll be getting feedback on the first pages of my memoir about learning to cope with Oscar's disability and then helping him to do the same as his understanding of PWS grows. It's exciting, and I'm nervous. And the internet is spotty. But, somehow I'm still going write these blog posts!
Here's Oscar, on his third attempt to climb to the top of the wall. He made it!