Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Power

Abe's not the only sibling struggling right now. Ruby too, in her own way, is coming to grips with PWS, but instead of retreating she's started pick-pick-picking on Oscar.

"Chew with your lips closed!"

"Stop sticking your elbow into me!"

"Hurry up Oscar, it's your turn in the game!"

Honestly, she's noticed my (decidedly more gentle) reminders and is imitating me with an added punch.  I'm working with her on just taking care of herself and not worrying about Oscar, but that's not in her nature.  She's highly attuned to her environment and just can't turn off the noticing.

Last night at dinner was no different. We were at our very favorite Mexican restaurant and the three kids were squeezed together on the bench side of the table. Ruby balked at having to sit in the middle and took out her frustration on Oscar.  Elbows! Lips! Stop squishing me!

Instead of reprimanding Ruby again I decided instead to compliment Oscar.  "O-man", I said, "I want to honor you for putting up with all this criticism day after day and not letting it phase you one bit".

I reached across the table to give him a fist bump. He returned the bump with a triumphant smile and said, so eloquently,

"Mom, I have two choices in these situations.  I can ignore her, or I can walk away.  When I do either of those two things the power bounces back to me."

"WOW", I said. "Where'd you learn that?" hoping it was something I'd said in some moment of brilliance that I'd clearly forgotten.

Nope - it was one of his amazing teachers. Of course.


  1. What a terrific story -- I'm going to have to remember his wise words and pass them along to my own children!

    BTW, I haven't properly congratulated you on your essay being a finalist. I hope you win -- you deserve to win. I never did get around to entering the contest and am impressed with and proud of you!

  2. Holy Moly! I wish I could implement wisdom like that in situations like these!

    Bravo, Oscar, and Brava to you, Mary for acknowledging Oscar's behavior in the first place.

  3. I'm so thankful for his school! What a multiple-blessing. Such gifts that he and his teachers bring to all of you.